This blog is dedicated to the memory of Tomaso’s last breath, a death that could have been prevented had leadership in this country acted in a timely manner. Testing for CV19, contact tracing, masks and social distancing could have been swiftly implemented. Tomaso’s death was not counted in the national tally. How many more died from CV19 and were not included with the tens of thousands who were? We may never know.

Three years ago on my birthday, Tomaso had his third heart attack and was in the hospital, at the time of the cardiac event. As he went down the tunnel and towards the light, he looked back to see nurses and doctors heroically trying to save his life. As he described it, his compassion went out and connected to their brave attempts. He did not want to disappoint them, he said.

He returned to his body and lived an additional three years.

Tomaso had cataract surgery on February 5 and on February 10 was dead. In between those five days, a fever of 105 degrees, cough and shortness of breath gradually became worse and worse. I was not feeling well, either. The night before his death, he told me over and over how much he loved me. When we went to bed, he whispered in my ear for hours, telling me all the ways he was grateful for our love.

Heart disease was Tomaso’s preexisting condition. We knew a fourth coronary attack would be his last, no matter what the cause or condition.

I am a nurse and have been practicing full time for forty years. I should have been given information about the lethal elements of CV19 so to act proactively.

Death spares no man or woman. Yet we often, in denial, think it will happen to someone else. We cannot imagine living without the ones we love. Thankfully, we had a will, which I updated accordingly. I still work, get social security, pensions from past hospital jobs, as well as Tomaso’s pensions and stock accounts. I am one of the fortunate ones.

Eight months later, his affairs are nearly transferred and closed, and I am free to pursue spiritual practices, untethered by the rush of daily life.

Gratitude and simplicity are the Golden Rule. Love everyone and everything. We’ve come to a crossroads and must choose well. OM