As CV 19 reaches heights of infection and death, the restrictions lifted in August and September have not been put back in place in many areas of the country. This is about to change, but not before maskless sports fans crowd into stadiums to cheer on their favorite college football teams. This defiance in the face of rising CV 19 death tolls unfolds like a horror movie as the US population takes a free fall to a certain death.

I read an article yesterday concerning the rising rate of suicide as we head into the dark long nights of winter. Those who live alone or are lucky enough to have a dog or cat, will sooner face the inner turmoil needing release through dream work, spiritual practice and seeking refuge in the natural world. Living with others may put this kind of self discovery on hold, as time and energy is compromised to serve the others in our lives.

As I experience my life evolving into that of a hermit or nun, thanks to CV 19 and the death of my husband, I celebrate the opportunity to explore the end of human limitation, foregoing the neat and tidy categories given to every day life. I celebrate the urge to dance in the middle of the night, to step lightly beneath the canopy of starry skies: this in the spirit of what it means to awaken to the nitty-gritty of being fully human. One aspect of this is forgiving myself for not being perfect, and in this forgiveness embrace the great unknowing, the great mystery brewing beneath the surface of waking and sleeping realities.

Service at this time may simply boil down to wearing a mask to protect others as well as myself. Flying the American flag as an act of patriotism pales in comparison to helping others to live through another long dark night. As the FDA rushes to approve a CV 19 vaccine, we learn survival skills that pass the test of another day.

With patience, all things are possible. OM